Do You Want To Share The Blame?

Well my friends, this is it.  Finals are over (it’s actually pathetic how much we stress here about nothing…I’m going to die next semester) and tomorrow we all get to say goodbye to each other until January where I am sure we will meet again.  I will miss this place, but could not be more ready to leave many things all behind, fondly, yet far enough away to enjoy, in my memory.  Did I almost break down today?  Perhaps.  But not because of what you’d think.

Today there was a huge strike in all of Spain, as well as in Italy, Greece, Portugal, and several other countries.  Everything was closed up and people crowded the streets, so I was pretty much confined to my room packing in order to stay out of all the mess; gas masks, police blockades, chanting – literally right across the street.  In the words of my host mom, the Spaniards “hay de locos y brutos.”  It’s quite true in all honesty.  Keeping my words and thoughts to myself as I listen to the warped political views over here will be one thing that I will be grateful to leave behind.

I should say more about the huelga, but my opinions about things have become so jumbled since living here.  I can see why they are angry all the time, but I believe that these workers are wrong in their thinking.  It’s a mess, and it’s not getting better any time soon.  Things will have to change, and people are resistant, pulling the already corrupted leaders in opposing directions.  They are infuriated that they aren’t receiving completely free health care anymore, yet they complain that their educated workers aren’t getting paid enough.  They say taxes are too high, yet cry foul when the government says they won’t be paid their semi-annual “bonus” at the end of the year.  It’s always someone else’s problem, always another one’s fault.  It all appalls me.

On the bright side, I don’t have school until January, so I have some time to get my life into order and mentally prepare myself for going back to the Provo Bubble.  Joy.  No really, I can’t wait for some things, let me tell ya.

Also, I wrote this poem for my Spanish Lit class and, (bragging moment…sorry), my teacher told me it was one of the best ones she had received from her students.  I’ll translate it for those of you who won’t be able to read it, but in English it hardly makes sense.  I think it’s much more beautiful in Spanish.   That’s how a lot of things are, I’ve learned.

Lo Que Quiero Darte

Lo que quiero darte
No es el aliento,
Las nubes de tizne
delante del sol –
Susurros suspendidos
En los torrentes de lagrimas.

Lo que quiero darte
No es la confianza,
Un imperio construido
por palabras desleales;
Verdaderos vacíos
Resonando por las piedras.

Lo que quiero darte
No es la honradez,
Un varón ni vagabundo
Disfrazado como rey.
Disidente disoluto
Engañando ángeles

Lo que quiero darte
Es mi cuerpo absoluto,
Para cuando no haya sonrisas
Mis alas sean tu huida,
Y no haya esperanza
Mi fuerza sea tu fortaleza,
Y no haya razón
Mi alma sea unida con tuya.

What I want to give you
Is not comfort,
The clouds of soot
In front of the sun –
Suspended whispers
In the torrents of tears.

What I want to give you
Is not confidence,
An empire built
Upon deceitful words;
Empty truths
Resonating through the stones.

What I want to give you
Is not honesty,
Neither man nor vagabond
Disguised as kings.
Dissident, dissolute;
Swindling angels.

What I want to give you
Is my whole self;
For when there are no smiles
My wings will be your escape,
And when there is no hope,
My strength will be your courage,
And when there is no reason,
My soul will unite with yours.

On another random note, apparently Channing Tatum has been named the 2012 Sexiest Man Alive, according to my roommate.  I have to disagree.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is where it’s at.  Tsk tsk…society these days…


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